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hat is forgiveness? Ask a dozen people, and you get a baker's dozen answers. Study the answers, and
you see that many are attributes rather than definitions -- an indication that forgiveness is hard to
define. Yet, people generally recognize that, even though philosophically abstract, forgiveness is vital
to a full circle of healthy relationships -- with yourself and others.
"Forgiveness is a practice and an opportunity for personal healing," says Linda Grdina, program
officer at the Fetzer Institute. As coordinator of Fetzer's Campaign for Love & Forgiveness, Linda has
observed that persons approach forgiveness with diverse intentions that represent various phases in a
cycle of forgiveness. "Some people and groups attempt to forgive, that is, to practice forgiveness. Some
say they choose to forgive but still act in an unforgiving manner. And some consider forgiving only if
the other party is willing to reconcile. This range of responses tells me that forgiveness is very much a
journey," she says.
"Forgiveness is a process with ups and downs -- not an on/off switch," states Thom Andrews,
director of marketing and public relations for the Kalamazoo Symphony Orchestra who organized
Season of Forgiveness discussion events in Kalamazoo in early 2009 as a foundation for ongoing forgive-
ness activities. "Forgiveness is a place we enter into, a labyrinth," he adds.
"Forgiveness is a means for an individual to heal oneself and a gift of healing given to the offender,"
says Fetzer Institute Program Officer Wayne Ramsey. "Forgiveness is hard, and it should be to have any
moral weight," he continues. "But the benefits of forgiveness for the individual, the relationship, and
society are well worth going down the path. Whether you actually reach the end zone is less important
than engaging the issues on the emotional, cognitive, and moral level."
"Forgiveness is a great self help tool to make me more compassionate with myself and others," says
Steve Chappell, grant writer and project manager for WGVU Public TV & Radio and a participant in
Fetzer's Campaign for Love & Forgiveness. "I wonder if forgiveness can be proactive. Can I be more
patient, understanding, and forgiving up front in order to foster a more harmonious relationship from
the get-go with my family, who I love more than life itself?"
"Forgiveness is part of the ethical ideals of the Judeo-Christian and most religious traditions,"
the late Louis B. Smedes, theologian, ethicist, professor at Fuller Theological Seminary, author of the
popular book Forgive and Forget, said. "Forgiveness is more than an ideal of organized religion ... forgive-
ness is healthful for the forgiver."
In fact, studies show that forgiveness reduces patterns of harmful stress and high blood pressure.
The Heartland Forgiveness Scale, a means to measure dispositional forgiveness of self, others, and
situations, shows that people who don't forgive experience a lack of trust, feelings of vengeance, and
hostility. In contrast, people with high levels of forgiveness have lower levels of cortisol, which is a stress
hormone.
"When you hold resentment toward someone or something, you are bound to that person or
condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. The practice of forgiveness is the only way to
dissolve that link and be free," says Catherine Ponder, a leading prosperity writer.
And, yet, forgiveness is a physiological challenge. Paybacks generate the same neurological response
as eating chocolate, which is perhaps the origin of the phrase, "revenge is sweet."
"Forgiveness is both a decision and a real change in emotional experience," says Everett
Worthington, professor and chair of the Department of Psychology at Virginia Commonwealth
University and a consultant to the Fetzer Institute on Forgiveness Research. Through his A Campaign
for Forgiveness Research, which he started in 1998, Worthington has studied how forgiveness and
justice work together as well as oppose each other.
Even though the number of controlled scientific studies on forgiveness has increased in the last
decade from less than 100 to more than 900, many people still attempt to define forgiveness by what it is
not.
Forgiveness is not forgetting, but it is removing negative feelings from the forefront of conscious-
ness. Forgiveness does not condone illegal or immoral acts, nor does it give permission to continue
hurtful behaviors. Forgiveness is not pretending that something harmful didn't happen. Nor is it a denial
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Forgiveness Is...?
By Robert M. Weir
WellnessDirectory09REV2.indd 3
4/16/09 1:50 PM