or eating behavior, deep yearning,
and fatigue. "It takes a lot of energy to
grieve," she states.
whether they show or express them
or not. Accept yours as normal." She
links grief with love, "If you didn't
love, you wouldn't be grieving."
grieving process is often short-
changed by people who don't want to
see their friends and family in pain,
but, she says, "The pain is all about
love. It's about your spiritual relation-
ship or connection with who or what
you have loved and lost."
of who or what is lost. "You cannot
forget the past relationship," Miller
says, "therefore, the key is to come
to completion of the relationship that
was and decide what you want the
relationship to be from this point
forward."
likely choose no further association
with that substance. If the relation-
ship ended with divorce, there will
likely be a desire for reduced contact
with the former spouse. If the rela-
tionship ended in death, the griever
might seek a deeper relationship with
others, such as family members, who
are still alive.
who is gone, they try to remember all
they can, going over the good times
and bad. That's part of completing the
relationship," Miller states.
see which ones are beneficial and
which are not. "All emotions, even
anger, are okay, but," she cautions,
"remember that, while you hang on
to certain emotions, you are also
taking them with you into your next
experience."
those emotions with you or not?"
The answer, Miller says, can lead to
a lot of work that may take time but
will be transformative. "Death is part
of the cycle of life," she affirms. "You
are a different person after losing a
love. Use your capacity for love to
heal yourself. Treat yourself tenderly
and with compassion during times of
grief."